Friday 8 November 2013

Wedding grace

Both my children are getting married next summer, within a week of each other.

There are various reasons the weddings are so close together, all legitimate, but when we first realised they would only be a week apart I felt quite stressed.

However, now the details are beginning to fall into place I'm getting quite excited.  I also realised early on that I would have to lay aside my control freak impulses and allow the children to get on with the organisation, as they clearly intended to do.

Daughter S's fiance B is extraordinarily focused and sensible, and has methodically sorted out pretty much everything to do with the venue, food etc on the wedding day.  There will also be a second reception later in the year, and that is also pretty much in place, thanks to the generosity of B's parents.

I have had more input to son G's arrangements so far, but this is only because his wedding reception is going to be in a school, and as he's at work during the week I've used my Fridays off to negotiate with the school - but very much according to G and K's wishes.

What I have found heart-warming, in the initial arrangements so far, has been the kindness of strangers.  S and B told me that at their formal and beautiful venue, the catering manager seemed thrilled to be involved, and promised all kinds of detailed support.  Apparently there are only a few weddings there a year, and she wanted to make sure it was really special for them.  I can't say more about where it is at this stage as S wants to keep it a surprise, but it is going to be very special.

At the school where G and K will have their reception, we have met the same kindness.  This will be a more informal wedding, and there have been various discussions about how the food will be provided, but where we've raised questions and asked to negotiate, the senior staff member and the catering manager have tried to be as flexible as possible, and have made a number of very generous concessions.  The school is a church school, and we attend the church it's linked with, so we're building on some close relationships. Even so I've been touched by how much everyone wants to help the young people I love with their special days.

I seem to have a mindset that is surprised by this unlooked for kindness - I don't know if it's because  I'm naturally cynical, but this kind of grace and generosity reminds me that so many people want to make a good contribution to the world.

I hope I reciprocate, and will try to be one of those people, as I go into the empty nest stage of my life.

The worst thing about this week: I didn't get home from work until 10 o'clock last night
The best thing about this week:  A friend has set up a business supplying bunting, so it looks like that aspect of the weddings is sorted 

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