I had a bit of a moment in the middle of Saturday night. I suddenly started panicking about daughter S's wedding. The venue's booked, and the music, but that's all. I started worrying that because the wedding's in another town, and we hadn't yet booked a house for her to stay in before the wedding, there would be nowhere to stay. And I worried that we hadn't yet booked the flowers, the photographer, the cars etc etc. There are still nine months to go, but because it's in August when there are so many weddings I was afraid we'd left things too late. So I went downstairs in the middle of the night and made a list in my wedding book. Son G's wedding is at the front of the book, daughter S's at the back.
Of course, in the morning it all felt less scary. When S returned from her weekend away I sat down with her and talked about how we needed to start booking the various wedding paraphernalia. My personality is fairly that of a control freak, but on the other hand hers is one which tends to put things off. I mentioned this to my husband, and he immediately said, 'Like me'. So S and I discussed this trait, and then agreed that this week S would follow up some leads re the flowers, make up and hair, and I would look into wedding cars. Then we went back to the house she shares with a friend, and sent an email to book the house where we'll base ourselves. We also agreed to go dress shopping again on Saturday. And I felt better. I also felt bad for putting pressure on her as she's had a virus and wasn't feeling very well, but once we've made the bookings, we can then have a less frenetic time until later next year.
Meanwhile, G's fiancee has been emailing the contact in the school where they're hoping to have their reception, so having had the initial discussions, I'm no longer needed. That's good, although I had to ask G a few questions before he clarified that this was what had happened - I'd been worrying that we hadn't got back to the school with the final plans.
At the same time as I was feeling stirred up with stress, it was also 'stir up' Sunday, and I made two Christmas puddings. Ever since early in my marriage I've made two - one for us, and one for my sister-in-law and her husband - this dates from the time when the pudding was my contribution to Christmas dinner at their house, in the years when we went to my husband's family. It was soothing to mix up all the scented fruit and spices, and to stir it and make a wish. I so wish for two wonderful weddings next year. I also wish that as I grow older I can be measured in how I tackle planning - coordinating but not controlling, and working in partnership rather than dominating, so that my input to the evolving patterns of family life is helpful and not harsh.
Stir up, we beseech thee, O Lord, the wills of thy faithful people; that they, plenteously bringing forth the fruit of good works, may of thee be plenteously rewarded; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.